Sons of Hercules at The Continental Club

Dave, Kim, Jeannie, Renet, Monte

My friend Renet took me to The Continental Club in Austin, Texas, to see Sons of Hercules and a few other bands. We arrived in time to hear Big Balls, an AC/DC tribute band. Lee Scott screeched out the AC/DC sound. Was it my imagination, or did his voice begin to give out after the first half of their set? The audience revelled in sing-alongs of Dirty Deeds and other classics. Some of the fare must have either been album cuts or original material. Notably absent were the songs "Hell's Bells" and "Back in Black".

Chris Gates & Gatesville remained solidly in "country rock" or "southern-fried rock" territory. The exceptions to this were lead guitarist Tony Redman's excursions into hard rock riffs and solos reminiscent of Joe Satriani.

Nick Curran & The Hustlers

Nick Curran did not look like blues would come out of him. He resembled more of an early eighties high school senior. He scraped out some R&B standards. Most impressive was a guitar solo late in his set. I looked left and right to find the rhythm guitarist, then realized that Nick was using multiple finger picks to play both lead and rhythm himself.

Frank Pugliese

About one in the morning came the moment we'd all been waiting for. Sons of Hercules took the stage and stormed through a nonstop power set. Front man Frank Pugliese croaked and strutted his way through brutal skull-thudding songs with plenty of hooks. His grimaces, leers and strutting antics provided a clear focal point, despite the lack of a mid-stage spotlight.

Lead Guitarist Dale Hollon

The band has defined punk and garage rock for San Antonio. Each member of Sons looks like a wizened, hard-livin' rocker, except the drummer, who looks like he could be a Sunnyvale classmate to Buffy. Nevertheless, he took off his cardigan after the first two numbers, then pounded the skins enthusiastically and with lightning speed, and sweat profusely through the remainder. I personally would love to see a duet by Frank and Iggy Pop. 'Twould be the stuff of nightmares.

Frank Howls

Neo Faucet Coffee

From the moment I began drinking coffee in Austin, TX, I was suspicious. This stuff tasted "off", but not as bad as instant coffee. My first cup came from the continental breakfast room at the (not-so-) Super 8. You push a button, the machine makes a pumping sound, and hot coffee flows into your cup. No pot, no grounds. If you watch closely at the end of the stream, you might see a brown viscous swirl. This is coffee's equivalent to the soda fountain.

I was comfortable with the idea, confined as it was to cheap motels. Then, jones-ing for caffeine, I stopped into a Fudruckers. They share a parking lot with my new digs, and I did not want to sprint across highway 35 to find a cup. No, they can't sell me brewed coffee, because their machine is not working. No, they can't sell me a pound of ground coffee, because they use a concentrated liquid.

Que?

Did I fall asleep for twenty years, to discover that fresh brewed coffee was extinct? Or am I just a spoiled Seattle java junkie? My people, from Illinois, drink Folgers crystals, or, as I call it, "faucet coffee." I used to try and keep some instant around, in case I ran out. It did not work. My stomach rejects faucet coffee, responding with an all-morning acid bite. I've tried haranguing, subsidizing with gifts (coffeemakers! pounds of ground!), to no avail.

Imagine my surprise when a famous and sophisticated city such as Austin seemed to have adopted the latest version of faucet coffee! Could it be that others are adopting this technology? Achh! A Google search produces several brands of coffee concentrate machines! I'd sooner switch to a caffeine patch.

Restaurateurs, be apprised: here is what happens to those who tamper with my coffee: Chris Farley is served instant coffee.

FUBAR at the DMV

If you are relocating, please remember to keep identifying documents with you. Keep driver licenses or ID cards up to date. Otherwise, you can get into a Catch-22 really quickly. If your out-of-state license is expired, guess what? You have to take a road test, too. Road test takers must supply the vehicle. You cannot rent a vehicle without a valid drivers license. Beginning to get the picture?

I made two mistakes:

1. Let my origin state driver license expire; I could have renewed it online!
2. Left my social security card in my storage unit

To get a Texas drivers license, relocators must:

1. Produce a valid out-of-state license
2. Produce a Social Security Card
3. Pass a written exam

Now, I could have taken a bus to my storage unit, dig through the pods, hoping to find my file box, and hope to find the social security card. Instead, I chose to walk three blocks to the social security administration and apply for a replacement card. That's how I found myself among the teeming masses, in a room with 100 seated persons plus standers, wherein cell phone calls are jammed. I'm number A219, in a queue that is now serving A155 and B567. It's near two pm.

There are yet more layers to this onion. If I apply for a Texas license, and they discover my Washington-registered vehicle, I will pay a fine of $2,000. I don't have a permanent address to put on my new driver license. I don't have a permanent Texas address for the government to send me any of these documents. The search for new real estate is slowed by my lack of a local vehicle, and lack of employment. The interview process that I am undergoing for new employment is hindered by my lack of transportation. I don't have a social security card with which to qualify for new employment -- on me. Should my prospective employer call me on my cell phone -- the one local root I have successfully planted -- they won't reach me. The federal government has jammed calls.

At least the feds are now providing entertainment. A disney movie starring live-action kitties and doggies has fired up on the wall TV. That's more than most federal detainees get.

Number A166 to window 23, please...

Tags: dmv, out-of-state, relocate, Texas, Illinois, Washington, red tape, Catch-22

Austin "Median" Prices Did Not Add Up

I was a bit too exuberant about the low median Austin home price. You'll recall that my plan was to sell my Seattle house, and use the proceeds to buy a home in Austin for cash. Well, the median prices I saw for Austin included a wide range of neighborhoods, and a lot of houses that were tiny or in disrepair. The plan may have worked back in May when I first visited Austin, but prices have grown by double digits in neighborhoods that I like. The Austin-American Statesman reported on it today. (Just look at the sidebar to see the tiny speck that "median" will buy in 78702).

My profit from the Seattle house will still buy a McMansion in Round Rock or Buda, but I am not interested in the commuting lifestyle.

Thus, I'm back to the prospect of a mortgage. The good news is that the payments will be only about 30% the Seattle ones. How do I keep other costs low? Certainly not by buying a high-rise condo. Some of the HOA fees I have seen are $500 per month! Low-rise, smaller complexes cost less (around $200), but typically include no community features, such as a pool or gym. The HOA fees for condo houses and attached homes can be as low as $50/month, but don't include mowing or maintenance.

I'm leaning toward a condo with a justified HOA fee, or a newer single family home.